ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
I have always hated schools when I was in them, elementary, Catholic, middle and high school. I hated school until I got to college. I hated the rules, I hated most teachers, I hated every single principal whose office I've ever sat in [which was every principal that has ever ruled the school while I was in it.] Now Fionna is in school and I find myself hating her school just as much as if it were my own. The principal chewed me out for driving up the parking lot the wrong way [fuck him, I did it on purpose], the teachers are always telling me what to do and where to go when I am there and the crosswalk teachers are the worst! The don't just stop traffic like normal assholes wearing bright orange, they walk me across the small street with Fionna. Okay, I am short.. but is that really necessary?
Finding the humor in my dislike for my five year old's elementary school... I suppose it is funny in itself that I still want to go against every fucking rule they throw at us. This morning she was begging me to pack her a snack [although she is there from 8-11am and they provide snacks] and she insisted I write her a note on a napkin in her lunch bag. I was okay with this idea, it was cute. Then she kept reminding me over and over and finally this morning she admitted other kids do it. I felt the first twitch of my eye but I ignored it. She asked for a CapriSun in it, I said no, drink water. She nagged "but other kiiiiiids haaaave iiiiit." Oh, kid, I am the last person in the world you want to say that to. I may have accidentally turned on her and lectured her about 'never doing what other kids do' and 'stop trying to be like other kids.' Dude, she is five! The poor look on her face..
But this kid needs to start learning early that to go with the flow is the worst thing to do. No child of mine will ever be a fucking sheep. Be a goat, be a mouse, be a fucking cat - I don't care. Just don't be like everyone else.
This is harmless as long as I can control my hatred for 'the system' and not encourage her to spray paint her teacher's car, steal stupid figurines from the principal's office, throw cupcakes on his seat and laugh with everyone when he stands up with one stuck to his butt, or freely mock a teacher's lesson because of the impracticality to it. My anarchism of youth is just another bone in my body no matter how much I attempt at being a 'normal adult.' Not normal as in Stepford Wives, I hate most wives I've met. But normal as in not being the eccentric teenage troublemaker I was only 7 years ago.
